I made Mom buy me that goddamned shirt.And it worked. I kind of got forgotten. But that only worked for a year. Then I grew some. And it was gruesome. First day back to school after the summer sprout, so of course I wore my favorite shirt. For the last time. One remark about how I looked like a well-dressed gorilla. That was enough to retire the shirt.I kept it because it was still my favorite shirt, even if its folded shape stayed unmoved in a year from its nesting in the back left corner of my shirt drawer. By now, I've gotten into a grungy punk thing with my friends. I keep thinking about how it might be cool to make an ironic statement by ripping off the embarrassingly short arms and scissoring, in rude cuts, the tight collar.That's the great thing about cool ideas--you don't necessarily have to do anything more than just think 'em.We went over to Grandma's for Sunday dinner. Which meant we ate lunch at home, and then went over to Grandma's to waste the entire afternoon waiting. Mom always said when he drank a lot he would pass out and nothing could bring him around. I stood between his legs to get a better look. I bent over and put my face real close. I couldn't take my eyes off it. "I'm really seeing a real one," I thought to myself.I reached out with my right hand and started to touch it. I drew it back. "What if he wakes up," I thought. I just had to know what it felt like.I slowly very slowly touched the top of it with my hand. It was warm and soft. I left my hand on top of it. I liked how it felt. I very gently started rubbing it. I noticed it didn't seem as hard while I was rubbing it. It started moving. I drew my hand away and watched. It kept getting bigger. As it was getting bigger it started to point up in the air. I couldn't stop staring at it. It was now pointing straight up. Dad was still passed out.I reached over and touched it with my finger. It bounced against my finger. I opened my hand and slowly wrapped my hand around it. I couldn't get.
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